If I smile and don't believe, soon I know I'll wake from this dream

friends only<3

2004-10-27T20:55:08Z

comment to be added

"you porehead foker!"

2004-07-27T18:56:45Z

Wow, last night was actually pretty cool. Found out my dad started smoking again, that REALLY pissed me off, I couldn't say anything, that's half of what made me freak out yesturday. Lindsay came over first and we went walking around. Then we chilled with Lena for a little bit. Went to sev where we met with Blake Chris and Courtney. Ashley and Mike came then, and we sat around eating Little Caesers. They came back with some chick.... and Blake was the first and only to get really drunk. It was funny. Jake ended up coming over, Ashley left, then Brandon came over, then Adam.

I talked to Adam for a little bit. Adam hit Blake with the car, and Blake didn't even know Adam left. Then Mike left, and we all just chilled in Blake's car. Yeah, it was a cool night. Could've been better, but I've had worse.

We had to go in at 12, which kinda sucked, but whatever. I just went right to sleep.

Hmm

2004-07-26T21:22:06Z

I'm hoping tonight will be fun. I don't know, I just have a bad feeling that either it's going to completely suck, or something bad will happen. Ugh, I don't know...

I spent all day just sitting around the house, which is why I'm hopefull for tonight. I just feel like crying forever for some reason right now, and I don't know why. I have so many things on my mind..... I just want to be unable to think for a few hours, then I'd be alright. what the hell is wrong with me?

I'll update later

"did he return to you the oral pleasure? not orally He wrote down on a piece of paper 'pleasure' "

2004-07-25T22:20:10Z

lol, I like my subject. You'll only know what that's about if you are Lindsay Brandon or Aaron lol.

Last night we ended up chillin with Ashley for a little bit. Then walked around some, talked to Brandon and Brandon for a little bit, went on the computer, and , well, last entry will explain alot of it lol. Then went to sleep.

Today was cool. Lindsay and I just chilled, talked to Brandon for a hour or so. It was cool. As I always say, that kid talks ALOT. lol. Talked about 2 days ago. We're deciding to do it again. Tomorrow night. More yahtzee. Who ever can get a ride here, or whoever can chip in, or sleep over, what ever. Just talk to me, or leave a comment, whatever lol. It'll be fun.

Seeeeee ya

"Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep
This air is blessed, you share with me
This night is wild, so calm and dull
These hearts they race from self-control
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine
We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.

The words are hushed, let's not get busted,
Just lay entwined here undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions..
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close
they can't hear, so we can get some."

- that kinda reminds me of 2 nights ago, minus the love parts of the song lol.

have I ever told you how cushiony your boobs are?

2004-07-25T04:39:47Z

alright, we try to be nice, and you say something that brings up old shit. and a reminder to all of you fuckers out there- fight your own battles

Im miss world506: hey
beargirl2003: hey
Im miss world506: what's up
beargirl2003: noting
beargirl2003: just chillin with christina....she spensing the night
Im miss world506: that's cool, I'm at ashley's, spending the night at ashley's again, I've been here for the past 3 weeks
beargirl2003: ok well cool
beargirl2003: having fun then lol
Im miss world506: yeah, do anything interesting today?
beargirl2003: hell yeah
Im miss world506: please tell
beargirl2003: two awesome guys hung out with me and christina
Im miss world506: oh, the only guys ive been with is my boyfriend but we broke up and brandon , lol
beargirl2003: brandon?
Im miss world506: booth
beargirl2003: you went out with him??
Im miss world506: no, we only messed around but i had a boyfriend that wasnt him but we broke up last night because he though brandon and i went back to his house to mess around but we only went ot get a phone charger and a peanut butter sandwich
beargirl2003: umm.....did oyu have sex with brandon lol cuz i thought he was with stephanie
Im miss world506: yeah, but he isnt "with" her
beargirl2003: ??/
beargirl2003: ok well im cinfused and i dont wanna talk about it
Im miss world506: ok, lol ... but ashley sucked my boyfriends dick, like and hour after we broke up , lol
beargirl2003: eww
beargirl2003: bad bad bad
Im miss world506: yeah, she was drunk but its not like she hasnt ever done that before
Im miss world506: lol
beargirl2003: lol umm ok well good for her
Im miss world506: yeah, thats what i said
beargirl2003: i havent done that but w/e
Im miss world506: i knoe
beargirl2003: i really dont need to know all of that crap
Im miss world506: lol
Im miss world506: okay... so anyway, hows life
beargirl2003: boring as usual
Im miss world506: ah ... that sucks.. so any new man in your life yet ?
beargirl2003: nope
beargirl2003: almost though i think
Im miss world506: oo, who ?
beargirl2003: some guy jeff
Im miss world506: jeff who?
beargirl2003: i dont matter
beargirl2003: it*
Im miss world506: ok? lol
beargirl2003: yea
beargirl2003: it just doesnt really matter
beargirl2003: you wont know him
Im miss world506: how do you know... i know everyone , lol
beargirl2003: noo ok you dont know everyone
Im miss world506: I was just kidding, ya know, sarcasm
beargirl2003: sure sure i know that word
Im miss world506: good, that's very good
beargirl2003: i guess
beargirl2003: sometimes it can and sometimes it cant
Im miss world506: what?
beargirl2003: sarcasm
Im miss world506: thats what i said, lol
beargirl2003: yeaaa i know
beargirl2003: im being stupid
beargirl2003: cuz its fun
Im miss world506: alright then donna
beargirl2003: lol
beargirl2003: yea yea very funfun
Im miss world506: hey- it's ashley
beargirl2003: hey
Im miss world506: what's happenin
beargirl2003: nothing
beargirl2003: just chilling with christina
beargirl2003: she i playing with kids right now that are spending the night
beargirl2003: whats up with you
Im miss world506: that's cool, chillin with Lindsay, unwinding from the night before
beargirl2003: oh
Im miss world506: we were all riding in Aaron's car and we got into an accident
beargirl2003: fun i guess
beargirl2003: oh
Im miss world506: yeah
beargirl2003: sucks for you
Im miss world506: wow, the compation, I can just feel it radiating off of you
beargirl2003: lol
Im miss world506: brandon got like, whipped in the face with the air bag and got beat from his seat belt, aaron got burns on his arm, Lindsay hit her knee on the center console, and her body went through the seats and hit her shoulders, our friend John hit his head pretty hard and probably has a concussion
Im miss world506: and the dude we hit, didn't look too happy
Im miss world506: well, we didn't hit HIM
Im miss world506: we hit his car
Im miss world506: lol
beargirl2003: hmm ok then
Im miss world506: then we went back to my house and got drunk
Im miss world506: except for lindsay and brandon, they just went driving around
beargirl2003: oh thats not very smart
Im miss world506: ya know, I do what I gotta do
beargirl2003: yea well thats whyi dont like hanging out with you guys much
Im miss world506: well fuck you too donna .. this being lindsay ... you prude piece of shit
beargirl2003: ty
beargirl2003: i know
Im miss world506: wow- that was, wow - this being ashley now
Im miss world506: we dont wanna hang out with you and your smelly ass anyway -lindsay
beargirl2003: ok then dont
Im miss world506: and again- wow.... that was just, wow
Im miss world506: sorry, Lindsay is a little riled up from a fight she just got in
beargirl2003: i dont wanna hang out with your drunk asses anyways
Im miss world506: she isn't thinking before she types
Im miss world506: i dont drink, see , you think you know it all donna, but you dont ... oh, and brent told me your pussy stinks like quiznos subs
beargirl2003: he wouldnt know he never gone to it
Im miss world506: he's the only one whos been close enough,( besides christina and cassandra) that he could smell it through your pants.... thats why everyone calls you the B O trio
Im miss world506: QUIZNOS SUBS BITCH
beargirl2003: yea ok waht the fuck ever
Im miss world506: your just mad because it's true ... you smell like the back bay ]
beargirl2003: oh why how do you know have you been near my fucking pussy i dont fucking think si and heither has he
beargirl2003: evan has but not brent
Im miss world506: we heard shit from him too.... but seriously ... you three are the wrst smelling people ive ever met... ive met crack heads from wilmington that havent showered in six months that smell better than you
beargirl2003: yea ok
Im miss world506: do you shower ?
beargirl2003: like you have been near me enough
beargirl2003: yea everyother day bitch
Im miss world506: there was a reason i was never around you .. YOU SMELL BAD
beargirl2003: i dot have to take shit like this fomr you
Im miss world506: you got served , shut up
beargirl2003: you smell bad to omfg and if thats all you can say then you lost many many brain cells from being drunk and high
Im miss world506: ok, you want something else .... you have no tits.. you look like a 2 year old..... the past two boyfriends youve had hate you because you are a spaz.... you suck .... you still have no green card ... and im starting to think that you are slightly retarded
beargirl2003: umm yea right ok then umm they dont know shit cuz they dumb and the only reason why you have big tits is cuz your fat
beargirl2003: your shit is dumb to me and it means nothing w/e you say
Im miss world506: ok, except this is lindsay .... and if you said that about me... your fucking blind ... and if you said that about ashley, im gonna kick your ass the next time i see you
beargirl2003: yea ok w.e
beargirl2003: your not gonna do shit to me
Im miss world506: oh...ok, you dont know me that well... you better watch where you go, i dont care where we are , i dont care whos there ...
beargirl2003: yea w.e your not gonna do fucking shit to me
Im miss world506: did you say that little comment about ashley ... ?
beargirl2003: pretty much both of youcuz big tits isnt always the best
Im miss world506: well, it really doesnt matter now, because if i ever see you again , youre gonna get it ..... i dont like you , i was trying to be nice and you had to go and start shit ... fuck that
beargirl2003: yea opk like i said your not gonna do shit to me
Im miss world506: just keep thinking that
beargirl2003: ok i will
Im miss world506: but do me a favor.. save some tress and small animals and take a fucking shower m
beargirl2003: Ashley, it's time for you to grow up and take responsibility for your life....you are killing yourself, your self respect & reputation by getting drunk, doing drugs & screwing around as well as putting your liufe in danger...you are better than that ! This is Michelle from Girl scouts...get off Donna's back I am right next to her & she smells clean to me.....grow up & if you need to pick on someone for your crappy life look in the mirror or at the people whom you are dwelling in the gutters with!!!
Im miss world506: this being ashley right now, I was not the one saying all of that, that was Lindsay. I had no part in that what so ever
Im miss world506: I'm sorry if that's what you thought
Im miss world506: but it wasn't me
beargirl2003: liar this is Christina and you need to go some where and get a life because you are wasting it on doing all of this crap
beargirl2003: So get a fucking life
Im miss world506: don't fucking talk like that to me, I wouldn't of said that if it was me, I'd fucking tell you straight up, but it wasn't, so stop trying to blame it on me if I fucking said it wasn't. Learn how to fucking read
Im miss world506: and I'm not going to type anymore, I'm giving it to Lindsay considering it's her screen name, and I'm backing off
Im miss world506: so don't try to blame anymore shit on me
Im miss world506: good bye
beargirl2003: fine
Im miss world506: okay , well, its lindsay now...
beargirl2003: yah so
Im miss world506: that real really cool to get your dads little "friend" to get on... and do you have to say something about drinking or doing drugs ??? well, donna.... ive been there when you smoked weed
beargirl2003: g2g
Im miss world506: so fuck you .... and you were the one complaining about not being able to drink
beargirl2003: bye
Im miss world506: fuck you

yeah

2004-07-25T03:55:09Z

Well, didn't end up going to the pool party - SORRY KAT!!!!! - Didn't end up going to the carnival. lindsay and I just chilled here. Ashley stopped by, which was cool. So here Lindsay and I am- wonder what is going to happen tomorrow??

well

2004-07-24T17:59:55Z

the past two days have been pretty fun. When Lindsay she came over with John and Ashley was driving. We just pretty much chilled. I was in a REALLY bad mood once Aaron left my house for some reason. Brandon was just trying to goof off and I like, screamed at him. I don't know. Went to bed, the next day = c r a z y

Well, we were chillin at my house, and Aaron came over. We decided to go to John's house to get his money and shiit, and then to Lindsay's house to get her stuff. On the way to John's house in front of Christiana High School, we got in a car accident. No big deal, I just feel bad for Aaron, he turned around for one second and then BOOM! It was fucking crazy. Brandon got like, whipped in the face with an air bag, which broke the windshield. John hit his head on the door, Lindsay had a bruise, I was the only one who got out perfectly fine lol. Blake came and picked us up from the high school, and we went to John's, then Lindsay's, then taco bell and my house. Chris came over, and we all decided to chip in for some yahtzee material. A huge ass bottle of Capt. Morgan, Nice shiit. I got pretty trashed. I had half a large taco bell cup filled with it, then I had another half cup, and some sips straight out of the bottle. Aaron, Ashley, Blake and I went to sev, and then Ashley and I got sprayed by the hose. It was great fun. Lindsay and John broke up, and he punched a sign, and got cuts, so I cleaned it up for him. We were just laying down on the driveway, everyone was on the other side of the street for some reason. Yeah.... did stuff. I won't go into details about it, but I messed around with John. And right now I'm thinking ---mistake---. But ya know. I'm not going to beat myself over the head for things that I do when I'm REALLY drunk.

I went to Sev wtih Aaron Blake and John, then we got back I went inside to go to bed around 1 16am. Chris ended up knocking on my window around 2 something am. He needed someone to talk to because Courtney broke up with him, and he still had some of the CM left. So I went outside, and we just talked about alot of stuff. I found out alot about Chris's life that I never really knew. It was cool. We walked to Brandon's because Chris wanted to wake them up to see if John got the weed he wanted. There was still a roach, so Chris and I shared it. I didn't really want to smoke it, but I was more drunk then I was before, and he was putting it right in front of my face. So ya know. I came back home around 4 30 am.

Woke up today, walked around the block with Lindsay and told her what happened. John called us over to Brandons to say bye. And we just talked to Aaron and Brandon for a little bit. Now getting ready to go to Kat's pool party, waiting for Aaron's mom to come pick us up. Sooo, until then

well then

2004-07-22T22:56:53Z

Hey. Well, today was cool. I just kinda laid around the house all morning, and then Aaron called. We talked on the phone for a while, then decided to go to the pool hall. I was calling people and asking them to go and blah blah blah. Asked Dave and he said yeah, and brought Amanda and Chelsea. It was great fun. On the way back home, Aaron hit Dave's truck at a red light, they both got out of the car, pretended to fight, got in each others cars, then went back. I was cracking up so hard. Good times. I saw Ashley's car at Mike's, so Aaron and I went there, then we went to my house, then Ashley and Mike went to the bank, although they've been gone for a while, which is odd. Aaron just left because he has bible study. So I'm just sitting here waiting for Ashley to come back.

I think Lindsay is mad at me for "breaking plans." I really didn't mean to just ditch her, I mean, I did ask her to come. I hope she isn't mad at me, that would suck. PS lindsay- I still want you to come over

dpresSedg0ldfish: hugalabogala
Auto response from A Corrupt Banana: Off around the house. Call or text if you need something. 981-6173

dpresSedg0ldfish: i dont feel like calling or texting
dpresSedg0ldfish: either sign off or get to the computer
dpresSedg0ldfish: just kidding this is aaron at ashley's house
dpresSedg0ldfish: i think im talking to myself
dpresSedg0ldfish: man, i am pretty sexy
dpresSedg0ldfish: and pretty conceded
dpresSedg0ldfish: shutup
dpresSedg0ldfish: no, you shutup
dpresSedg0ldfish: stop yelling!
dpresSedg0ldfish: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
dpresSedg0ldfish: mm...
dpresSedg0ldfish: (struggle)
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: ok, i got rid off the other personality
dpresSedg0ldfish: now where were we?
dpresSedg0ldfish: oh yeah, do you have anyway grey poupon?
dpresSedg0ldfish: do you?
dpresSedg0ldfish: well
dpresSedg0ldfish: ?
dpresSedg0ldfish: not talking eh...
dpresSedg0ldfish: well i can fix that
dpresSedg0ldfish: we, i mean i, have ways of making you talk
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: TALK!!!!!
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...oh man
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: didn't work
dpresSedg0ldfish: well that is fine
dpresSedg0ldfish: i mean frankly, i don't give a damn
dpresSedg0ldfish: my dear
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: im touching myself
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: i mean what?
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: where am i
dpresSedg0ldfish: im hungry
dpresSedg0ldfish: where are my pants
dpresSedg0ldfish: so
dpresSedg0ldfish: you're
dpresSedg0ldfish: you're a corrupt banana
dpresSedg0ldfish: ...
dpresSedg0ldfish: how's that working out for you?
dpresSedg0ldfish: apparently im a dpresSedg0ldfish
dpresSedg0ldfish: looking for the other lost soul swimming in the fish bowl
dpresSedg0ldfish: wish you were hear
dpresSedg0ldfish: hey, i just quoted pink floyd and incubus at the same time
dpresSedg0ldfish: "sweet home chicago!!!"
dpresSedg0ldfish: hey, i just quoted the blues brothers referencing to lynard skynard

Like a period!

2004-07-21T19:33:59Z

Me talking to my cousin : I've been with her for the past week, It's a wonder she isn't bored of me right now, I tend to get regular and predictable
Lindsay: Like a period!!!!

Brandon : I'm a pimp

yeah, brandon, that's exactly what you are *note the sarcasm

Well, yesturday was eventful. Lindsay and I chilled with Lena. We saw some kid get knocked out at the park, and there was this whole commotion after wards. Lena asked her parents if she could sleep over, and she was allowed. We found Brandon, and went back to my house and just chilled. We decided to go to Sev, chilled outside of some kids house. Then we came back here, then went walking around until 3 something am. It was soooo much fun. It was just one of those random times that you can do absolutely nothing, and still have the time of your life. I was cracking up alll night. We played this joke on Adam, it didn't go out as we planned because he brought his new girl with him. Although he made it very clear he was not dating her, but was all over her all night. One of his comments kinda made me a little upset, but whatever, fuck him. I don't even like who he is now anymore one bit. If he decides to go back to the old Adam, maybe I'll give him a chance. But I really hope he doesn't try to talk to me anymore or I'll really just flip out. Came back to my house.... went to sleep... Today was cool. Brandon came over, of course. We called Aaron, he came over. We all just chilled. Then later on we went to the mall to see Ashley, then to Circut City. Then back here for a little bit, everyone left at 10, and Ashley came over. Then me and her went to Mike's. Mike P and Blake were there. Ashley left, I stayed, watched the guys play Tiger Woods Golf, then came home around 11 55. Fun huh? It seems that everyday is just going by with a big blur. I can't think about anything anymore without it going back to the same thing. It's weird, I know. I just need to get out of my house for a little bit, I'll be fine then. Hmmmm... wonder what's up for tomorrow. Hopefully - yahtzee nigga's!!!!!!

well then...

2004-07-20T19:37:07Z

Well, I haven't updated in a little while, so I'll just pick up where I left off. Lindsay and I went to my uncle's house Saturday morning... it was fun. I loved seeing everyone. It was great. I saw Chelle there too, but she wouldn't hang out, which got me REALLY pissed off because I haven't seen her in a really long time and when I do have the chance to hang out longer then 20 minutes she decides not to when she has the perfect chance. Whatever, fuck her then.

Laur came, and we went to her apartment, it's alright. Not the greatest, but hey, what can ya do? She dropped us off at Sal's and we sat around for about 5 minutes then left for Philly. It was great fun. The crackhead, the Golden Sev, gay people. It was a good time. Went home, then went to sleep.

Sunday...umm...I remember Ashley came over and we drove around in her mom's car. Went to Mikes house where Blake and Mike were, and we decided to go to the scarey road. On the way there Ashley's mom called and told her she had to go home, so we just jumped into Blake's car and went. The dirt path was all muddy though, so we just drove around Maryland looking for midget houses and getting lost. It was sooo funny. Apparently- Blake and Mike were drunk, and yet Lindsay and I got in the car with them and went to LANCASTER!! Amish people, horses and buggy's, running out of gas, getting stuck in a ditch, RT 30. LOLOLOLOL - what a fucking retard!! I can't believe someone would believe that.
Gosh.... in reality, we found our way back in DE and went to visit Amanda, then we went Chelsea's. Great times. Came back to my house and hung out with Brandon, went to sleep.

Lindsay left around 10 30 to go to the docters, and Aaron called me around 12... saying he wanted to do something. So I said alright, and took a shower. He came over at 1 45 or something. We went to Brandons, hung out for about 30 minutes. Aaron wanted to go to the mall so he could buy clothes, and we had to bring Christian because no one was there to watch him. We walked around the mall, I stopped by to see Ashley. So I was all good. He couldn't find any pants in the stores that were cheap enough, so we went to Walmart. That was fun, I was cracking up the whole time. Dropped Christian off, went to pick up Lindsay, went to get McDonalds, then to my house to watch Boogie Nights. Aaron left and Ashley came over with free drink for me!! It was nice lol. She left, Chris and Courtney came over. We walked to some dudes house, walked Chris and Courtney home, then Brandon left, it was like, 12 30 am, and Lindsay and I were geeking lol. Then we went to sleep.

This morning- dropped off Lindsay, my mom and I went to get our hair cut... then went to Walmart. I got a pair of jeans, so I was happy. And now here I am, wondering what is going to happen tonight... dun dun dun. lol

Yahtzee at my house - Friday, only a select few can come- and it's already Lindsay, Aaron, Brandon, Ashley, Mike, (possibly Chris and Courtney), maybe one more person or so, who knows?

Yep Yep

2004-07-16T21:45:21Z

Hmmm... last night was fun. I hung out with Blake and Mike which was fun, I haven't done that in a while. Firstly it was Aaron, Lindsay, and I chillin in my room, then Brandon came over. We just sat around, we were watching Fried Green Tomatoes.

We were looking for yahtzee material all night, ended up finding it later. Aaron and Brandon went to Brandon's house to get his playstation and Blue Collar Comedy Tour- that movie is soooo freaking funny. Aaron had to leave, Blake and Mike came over. Mike P and Steph were supossed to come over, but I don't know what happened to them. And Ashley wasn't allowed out. So, ya know, it happens. We chillin on the deck, called Adam asking for Hot Damn. We got it, and I got a little buzz, I was also kinda tired/hyper at the same time, so that helped it a little bit. Good thing. I was feeling good, lol.

Brandon ended up leaving around 2 30, Lindsay and I went right to sleep. Woke up around... I don't know, but Ashley called asking us to go to the DMV. I was kinda PMSin this morning lol, I was freaking out because of clothes! I never do that. But whatever. I decided not to go to Lindsay's until later, and we went to the DMV, Ashley's inspection failed. Sucks for her. Then we went to McDonald's, but they wouldn't except her card, so we had to go to the ATM, then to Burger King. Then they dropped me off.

I convinced my mom to buy me at least one outfit. So we're going to do that later then to Lindsay's house. It will be cool. I'm just worried about tomorrow. I mean, if Sal and Pete can't do it, it's all good, Lindsay and I will just chill around my Uncle Steve's house at the block party. It will be a good time either way. I miss my family. But I still wanna go to the restaurant. Things always seem to get fucked up somehow. Oh well, we'll see, won't we?

hey

2004-07-15T22:34:02Z

well, yesturday I went to Lindsay's house around 11 something. We chilled, ya know how we do.... the same old same old. But we called Aaron to see if he was doing anything, but was working late, and called Brandon. We ended up all hanging out together... alot of shit. We went to the mall and saw Ashley!!!! plus mike and blake. But I was REALLY excited to see Ashley, I haven't seen her in FOREVER. She said she'll come by tonight maybe. We went to... the diner, that was alright, it was just Aaron and I in there though... we just talked. It was cool.

Tonight, will be fun. Er, it better be. Yahtzee at the Hampel house, players? Lindsay, Hampizzle, Aaron, Brandon. Anyone else?

Well then....

2004-07-14T04:06:27Z

So, today was a.... weird....... day, overall good, but ya know. It had it's bad points. I was just chillin watching TV all morning, I was about to get online, when Brandon came over at like, 5. He told me that he was hanging out with Aaron tonight and asked if I wanted to.. and of course said yes, as I told in my last entry. Well Brandon left then came back over, and then Aaron came. I told everyone online that I had to go, and left.

We went to Happy Harry's to see Steph for a couple seconds, then to the bank for Brandon, then to the mall. Which was pretty pointless, we just walked around. Then we went to get gas.... and then to see Kat at work, but she wasn't there. So we went to her house instead, and we all came back to my house. The ride home was fun. I was playing with Aaron's hair, and he started swerving and shiit pretending he was falling asleep. I love hanging out with them... it was so much fun. Brandon left later on, and Aaron was playing the guitar, so I just sat down and watched him. I love watching him play guitar, it's so awesome. I can't really explain it, but... it's kinda mesmorizing... corny I know, but oh well.

Ahh, something happened that made me feel like a complete weirdo today. On the way to Kat's work (coldstone creamery) Brandon goes to Aaron, "you need a girlfriend" and Aaron just goes on into it, then Brandon starts pointing to me, and goes "ashley" so of course I was like "brandon, shut up!!" and Aaron just goes " I think you're a complete asshole for talking about that right now." Ugh.... way to make me feel akward. I just felt like crawling into a corner and dying. I hate it when he does that, it makes me want to go phsyco and chase him with a butcher knife. lol. I hhhhaattteee it. Don't get me wrong, I love Brandon, he's a great friend, but if you're going to try to "hook me up" or whatever the fuck it is you're doing, do it in privite with the guy, don't do it when I'm right behind the kid, jeeeeze!!!!!!!!!

Oh well..... sleepy time

"you're in everyone I see, so tell me, do you see me?"

now you KNOW I'm bored... cause I'm doing this retarded thing

LAYER ONE
-- Name: Ashley
-- Birthdate: November 2nd, 1988
-- Birthplace: PA
-- Current Location: DE
-- Eye: blue
-- Hair: brown with red streaks
-- Height: 5' something or the other
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

LAYER TWO
-- Your heritage: 50% Irish, 25% English, and 25% German
-- The shoes you wore today: grey etnies
-- Your weakness: I have some things
-- Your fears: being alone forever..... never feeling like I'm okay
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: There's a lot...

LAYER THREE
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: it happens, because everyone is like, I'm bored, so I say, it happens... lol
-- Your thoughts first waking up: what to do today, what to do today, or, about my dream that I had
-- Your best physical feature: I don't know, my eyes I guess
-- Your most missed memory: Philly, grandmoms house, the whole family together on Christmas for dinner, God I miss that sooo freaking much

-- Pepsi or Coke: coke
-- McDonald's or Burger King: dollar menu niggas

-- Single or group dates: group, always makes things more interesting
-- Adidas or Nike: adidas, but if I could, I'd say neither
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don't know
-- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino, most deff.

LAYER FIVE
-- Smoke: when I'm drunk... lol
-- Cuss: yeah
-- Sing: that's ashley, you can't get ashley without the singing
-- Take a shower everyday: YES, well, usually lol
-- Have a crush(es): yeah
-- Do you think you've been in love: nope
-- Want to go to college: yes
-- Want to get married: yes
-- Believe in yourself: sometimes..... not alot
-- Get motion sickness: not usually
-- Think you're attractive: of course not
-- Think you're a health freak: nope
-- Get along with your parents: yeah, I love them to death
-- Like thunderstorms: yeah, they're soooo awesome
-- Play an instrument: I used to... (clarinet), but now it's just basically the voice, I hope I get piano classes for school when we go back, that'd be kick ass

LAYER 6: in the past month
-- Gone to the mall?: just today actually
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreo: nope, never done that
-- Eaten sushi: ick no, that stuff is G R O S S
-- Been on stage: nope, I wish
-- Gone skating: nope
-- Ate cookies: yeah, yucky ones though, I spit it out lol
-- Gone skinny dipping: never done that, don't think I would
-- Dyed your hair: yep, SAMMI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
-- Stolen anything: nope
LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated : lol, helllllllll yeah
-- Been called a tease: yeah, lol
-- Gotten beaten up: nope, well, maybe from my brother

LAYER EIGHT
-- Age you hope to be married: I don't really care, I just want to be married, before I'm old though lol. Hopefully before 35
-- Numbers and Names of Children: thought about it before, but I didn't give it THAT much thought... hopefully, 2, boy and a girl. Don't know the names
-- Describe your dream wedding: there would be so many different kinds I would love to have, but I mean, as long as it's a good time and you're with the person you love, I don't think it should matter
-- How do you want to die: peacefully
-- Where you want to go to college: where ever there's good music
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: chorus teacher, somewhere along those lines
-- What country would you most like to visit: somewhere in England... like Germany possibly, where ever there's beautiful architecture and art, stuff like that, I'd be happy to go, I had a long discussion with Sam I think about that

LAYER NINE: In a guy/girl...
-- Preferanced eye color? no preferance, but I do like blue and green... but it doesn't really matter
-- Best hair color? doesn't matter
-- Short or long hair: I heart shaggy hair, something that you can entwine your fingers in and play with
-- Height: taller than me, I usually go for the tall ones lol
-- Best weight: ...? whatever
-- Best articles of clothing: as long as it isn't that gangster baggy clothes that your 500lb next door neighbor could wear, then I'm happy pretty much, but I don't really like pretty boys.. that's a turn off for meee
-- Best first date location: no preferance, as long as you can have fun and be with each other
-- Best first kiss location: as I said, as long as it's with the one you want to be with, then where ever is cool, but it's better to be in a secluded place, not in everyone view

RANDOM QUESTIONS
-Did you like the "Back to the Future" movies? my dad and I love them
-Ghosts and Witches: don't believe in them
Micheal Jackson or do you think he is a has-been? has been
-Do you speak anyother language besides English? nope
you find the "Iron Chef" humorous? never watched it
-Do you think that cheerleading is a sport? depending on the cheer leading, if it's the compititions and crap like that, then yes, of course, but if it's just rah rah football team shiit, then no
-What type of computer are you using right now? dell flat screen ( I gotta make myself look good lol)
-Do you own an article of clothing that is pleather? nope, don't think I ever would, I'm not into that leather/pleather crap
-Are you watching TV or listening to music right now?music, and I can hear my mom watching The Golden Girls, gotta love those old ladies
how is you hair put up right now? half up half down
-What time is it? 11:48 pm
-Do you enjoy Hanson's music? Why or why not? nope, just cause, I don't lol

PERSONAL QUESTIONS
-What is in your shower right now? shampoo, conditioner, razor, soap, body wash, the puff thingy
-How much of that do you actually use? all of it
-What time do you wake up in the morning? school time- 6 or later, usually later lol, I'm a bum.... but when I don't have school it's usually 12 or something, depending on what time I went to sleep
-What is your daily routine? what ever happens happens, I just go with the flow
-Do you have a lot of friends? I guess so...
-Do you have an actual best friend? a couple
-Do you live with anyone? mom, dad, my brother doesn't really count anymore....
-Your room: spacious/tiny? personal/cluttered? bare/busy? nice/ugly? spacious, cluttered, busy, ya know.... it's messy right now
-What do you like most about yourself? my mind I guess
-Does your job suck? what job?
-Do you get along with your family? of course, I love my family
-Do you enjoy the people in your everyday life? Yes, they're all great people <3
-Do you trust people? Why or why not? only some people.. I choose who to tell certain things to, but with this journal everything's out and in the open, I kinda like it that way, so I don't have to hide anything like I usually do.
-What is in your purse/bag/briefcase right now? ........... I don't have one lol, my bag is empty as of right now, and will be until I spend the night somewhere
-What defines the perfect partner for you? well, lets see.... courteous, funny, HAS to be funny, good sense of humor (you can be funny and still have a bad sense of humor), nice, loves me for who I am, can do anything and not worry about what I think because they're sure that I'd love them anyway... and if they're my "partner" I would, or they wouldn't be my "partner". Can get along with my friends, as will I theirs, we could sit around and do nothing but still be content because we're together. Preferably musically talented. But it's okay if they aren't. Are into my kind of music, but it's okay if they're into other kinds too. Isn't self consious, and won't expect me to be something that I'm not, or do something that I can't do.... I could go on for hours, so I'll just stop there

BODY QUESTIONS
Do you have good personal hygiene? I would like to think so
What _______ do you use? (if any) lol
-facewash: that stuff that makes your face really cold
-soap/bodywash: the soap in my shower.. I think it's Dove.. lol these are really pointless questions
-lotion: just the jergans shiit for moisturizing the skin, nothing fancy
-perfume: Rave or whatever, but I love LoveSpell. Although I don't usually wear perfume....
-makeup: eyeliner, eyeshadow, chapstick or lipgloss, that's about it, I don't get all into it like most do....
tothpaste: I just use it, it's that stuff with the 3 colors lol, the blue white and red.... yeahh
mouthwash: listerine, if I use it, we don't usually have it
-floss: I don't usually floss, but when I do it's the stuff in my moms bathroom that tastes like mint
-deoderent: I forget what it's called
-shampoo/conditioner: suave... I LOVE the strawberries... smells so good.But if I had my choice I'd use the Herbal Essences fruit fusions
-mints: what kind of question is that?
-hair products: brush, clips, and hair ties... that's it
-upkeep products: what's a upkeep product lol???
-Do you clean (Q-Tip) your ears? How often? after I take a shower, which is usually every day
-Are you in good physical shape? lol... nooo

do you take care of your feet? I don't pay much attention to them lol
-what are your eating habits? i dont have habits.. i dont follow schedules
-What is your hair color? you already asked that.. see above.. wherever it was
-Do you smoke/dip? smoke- only when I'm drunk.... and dip, no, my friends always try to get me to, but no, and I won't, EVER
-How often do you shower? every day usually, jeebus, what's with this shower crap?
-Do you paint your nails? If so, what color? sometimes, either blue silver or black
-Do you have more than one hairstyle? yes..
-Do you wear retainers/braces? Have you? nope, never
-Do you have contacts/glasses? nope, 20/20 vision
-Do you think that you are a healthy person? sure.. whatever

ETC

-How often do you get online? umm.. every day, for however long, depending if I'm out that day or staying in
-Do you write letters to people? only in school
-Are you afraid to ride in a plane? yeah
-Are you tired? yes, I'll end up going to bed soon, maybe after this if it ever freaking ends
-Do you want to go to sleep? yes
-Have you ever been in love? no you asked me that already
-You wish you had someone right now?yeah, I REALLY do... you people should know
-Are you away from home and do you miss it? I'm home, but I miss certain places that I considered my home once, ie springfield, philly
-Are you at home and wish you were somewhere else? kinda, not really, I wouldn't mind being somewhere else
you think that AL Gore's beard look makes him look laid back and rustic or makes him look like he's trying to look laid back and rustic? Al Gore has a beard? What does he look like again? Because I really don't care
-What is the best coffee you've ever had and where can I get it? I don't drink coffee, but I do drink cuppaccino, WaWa cold French Vanilla, yummmm
-What time is it? 12:04 am

well- that was the biggest waste of time I've ever spent

yo

2004-07-13T22:25:52Z

Well, today I did... nothing. lol. But this day seems to be looking good right about now because Brandon came over asking if I wanted to hang out with him and Aaron tonight, and of course, I said yes. =)
It shall be a grand time.

This is a quiz where you bold those that apply to you (taken out of Amanda's journal, whoot whoot!)

01. My hair is still its natural color (most of it is, but I don't think that counts)
02. I paint my toe nails
03. I get annoyed when I don't get to finish telling a story
04. I like to wear pink
05. Sometimes I wish I could do something really, really amazingly well
06. I drink a lot of water < alot alot alot of water, it's my drink of choice
07. I've never taken a hit off a cigarette
08. I like big things. < sorry, that just makes me laugh
09. I'm such a health freak
10. I love eating!!!
11. I have really tiny wrists.
12. I can identify some close friends by smell
13. I'm far too nice
14. I hate when people confuse "your" and "you're"
15. I think dorkiness is attractive
16. I've never had a fake screen name
17. I wish I had a pug
18. I miss middle school < meaning, ETR, not Gauger
19. I love people with a good sense of humor < you HAVE to have a good sense of humor to be around me, otherwise I don't like yo lol
20. I have a hard time making up my mind sometimes
21. I wish my hair was naturally curled
22. I love standing out
23. I wish I could sing well < I don't think I need to say anything about that
24. I like classical music <some of it
25. Striped pants are hot
26. I think Schylar is a really cool name
27. I usually don't get sarcasm
28. I wish I could look in a mirror and constantly be satisfied with myself
29. I shift between being sleepy and awake when I'm really tired
30. I hardly ever vacuum
31. I hate racism
32. I want him to hold me
33. I like watermelon flavored things
34. I'm a snob about grammar (I'm sorry, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to spelling, punctuation, and capitalization.)
35. I am a terrible liar
36. Old Spice deoderant smells WONDERFUL
37. I wish I knew how to speak Italian
38. This "100 things about myself" list is harder than it looks
39. I am learning to be happy wherever I am
40. I have no idea what my school musical is about.
41. I appreciate honesty
42. I need a manicure
43. I love Dr. Pepper
44. I twirl my hair < that's only when I'm EXTREMELY bored
45. I love kissing
46. I have too many clothes for my closet
47. I want to learn to play harp
48. I'm not old enough to vote
49. I live in the past far too much
50. I need to remember to be a teenager sometimes
51. I want to see most of the world
52. Sometimes I wonder what's going on over in London
53. I hate being lied to
54. I believe in a thing called love
55. I go shopping usually once a week
56. Today is Wednesday (...What the hell?)
57. I've read more than a 100 books
58. I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme < ohhhh yes
59. I like feet
60. I like being neat
61. I want the world to see me
62. I think it's funny when girls wear so much makeup that their faces become incandescent
63. I hate seeing kids/people that think they're different because they like Slipknot, etc. and shop at Hot Topic.
64. I have a fear of wearing too much perfume
65. I wear pants more than I wear shorts
66. I am tactful most of the time
67. I'm afraid of spiders
68. I get too attached to some people
69. I'm usually on time < usually being the key word there
70. I forgive but I don't forget.
71. I think way too much for my own good
72. My current relationship is teaching me a lot
73. I like salads from McDonalds < they're awesome
74. I read for at least an hour every day.
75. I talk to a lot of people I don't like because I hate being rude
76. I sing in the shower
77. Laughing turns me on
78. I wish I were asleep
79. I love Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
80. I never have enough energy to do what I'm doing
81. I have a friend who has an outtie bellybutton
82. I have driven a car
83. There is no nailpolish on my nails
84. I am unafraid to change, but I don't think I realize the boundary between change and utter transformation
85. I wear brown, thin-rimmed glasses (not always though....)
86. Goodbyes make me sad
87. 5.6.7.8 comes after 1.2.3.4.
88. I love cuddling
89. I run when I'm bored
90. I wish I were more attractive to others
91. I worry too much sometimes about what people think
93. Compliments make me happy
94. I like long car rides with certain people
95. I drink a lot of orange juice in the morning
96. I wonder a lot about who I'm going to end up marrying
97. I listen to the things no one else really cares about
98. I can't draw from imagination
99. TyPiNg LIeK diS anNoyes mEeeH < that annoys me sooo freaking much
100. This took too long

ahhh, come already damnit

quiz

2004-07-13T01:04:34Z

everyone should do this quiz ........ EVERYONE lol

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. How have I affected you?

5. What do you think of me?

6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?

7. How long do you think we will be friends?

8. Do you love me?

9. Do you have a crush on me?

10. Would you kiss me?

11. Would you hug me?

12. Physically, what stands out?

13. Emotionally, what stands out?

14. Do you wish I was cooler?

15. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

16. Am I loveable?

17. How long have you known me?

18. Describe me in one word.

19. What was your first impression?

20. Do you still think that way about me now?

21. What do you think my weakness is?

22. Do you think I'll get married?

23. What makes me happy?

24. What makes me sad?

25. What reminds you of me?

26. If you could give me anything what would it be?

27. How well do you know me?

28. When's the last time you saw me?

29. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

31. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

Car

2004-07-12T23:28:24Z

These are the times I wish I had a car. It's so close I can taste it but the taste isn't enough. It would make Saturday so much easier for me. I would make an appearance at the pool party, stay for a couple of hours and have fun, then be able to go to the block party afterwards. It has to be difficult since I'm young, doesn't it? I'm about to go ask my dad if we can go driving = ) ...... Ashley, driving, WHHAT? lol. I know, I know. To tell you the truth, I don't know if I'm going to get my car yet, I have to talk to Katie. Maybe she'd give it to me for $300, kinda like a 16th birthday present? Eh, maybe, who knows.....

I wish we could be more in control of our emotions. Like when you know you SHOULDN'T feel something, but you just can't help it, you'd be able to turn it off and feel the way you wanted. That'd be pretty nifty

just another quiz

2004-07-12T19:08:05Z

STAR things that are true about you:
01. I'm in a relationship
02. I can't eat sugar
03. I am in love
04. I think Bush is an awesome president
05. I think gay marriage should be approved*
06. I enjoy playing my music loud*
07. I like to decorate stuff*
08. I love the color silver*
09. I have too much free time*
10. I love hugs*
11. I like to take pictures*
12. I am a blonde
13. I love Vanilla Coke*
14. My parents are divorced
15. I get amused easily sometimes*
16. I hate my siblings* (well, one of them)
17. I love all my friends to death*
18. I have been to the Bahamas at least once
19. I love Aladdin*
20. I'm afraid of losing loved ones*
21. When I get home the first thing I do is get on the computer
22. I need to apply myself more*
23. I need more sleep
24. I like to write poetry*
25. Hypocrites piss me off*
26. I wish I could ride a motorcycle*
27. I don't like chocolate much
28. I have weird dreams*
29. I don't have a shower
30. I love to swim
31. I'm scared of changes*
33. I don't do extracurricular activities
34. I'm too lazy*
35. I am an atheist
36. I tend to hate jerks*
37. I'd rather have a small group of close friends than a large group of friends that I didn't know all that well
38. I'm easily hurt*
39. I'm an Internet nut*
40. AIM takes up 1/4 of my life*
41. I like giving gifts
42. I enjoy recieving them as well
43. I'm quiet in class and loud with my friends*
44. I love watching films*
45. I am very crazy at times*
46. I want to learn how to play the flute
47. I love where I go to school
48. I hate my homelife
49. I don't like eating
50. I leave school soon
51. I am an impulse spender
52. I only ever seem to drink Pepsi/Coke
53. I have lots of nicknames*
54. I eat too much junk food*
55. I've had a Xanga for over a year
56. I'm tough on the outside, super sensitive on the inside*
57. I love video games
58. I am shy at first*
59. I'm scared that the entire world hates me and I just don't realize it*
60. I love sarcasm*
61. I'm a bit blonde at times*
62. I think I scare people sometimes*
63. I think snobby people suck*
64. I hate it when people judge others*
65. I prefer the Internet to the TV
66. I can cry and not be sad*
67. I take a shower every day* (usually lol)
68. I interrupt people a lot
69. I hate it when people ignore me or irritate me*
70. I'm quiet, then I come out with random outbursts* (I do that alot)
71. I have a lot of pet peeves*
72. I hate scratched CD's and DVD's*
73. I love blue eyes*
74. I hate acting girlish*
75. I'm a very messy person*
76. I want more piercings*
77. I hate my figure*
78. My friends are loud but awesome*
79. I sleep on my side
80. I appreciate nice things that are done for me, even if it's just a compliment*
81. I'd love to have the money to buy things for people for no reason at all*
82. Iced coffee is the best
83. I want to get my ears pierced again*
84. I want my belly button pierced
85. I like sitting around doing nothing if it pleases me*
86. I don't like talking to new people
87. I love horse back riding
88. I'm a day dreamer*
89. I never want to get married
90. I like clean sheets*
91. I love to ramble about random things*
92. If I leave my hair to dry it goes curly
93. I don't sleep much
94. I loathe sunbathing*
95. I'm scared of the near future*
96. I hate it when parents take sides*
97. My starsign is Virgo
98. I share my Birthday with an enemy
99. I love recieving Xanga comments* (and livejournal, hint hint lol)
100. I've rode in a hot air balloon
101. I've bowled left handed
102. I love popcorn
103. I've liked my best friend before*
104. I wake up to an alarm clock
105. I hide things under my bed*
106. I hate close-minded people*
107. I have gone sky diving
108. I've written a book* (more like, a story)
109. I love Def Leppard
110. I make wishes on "1:11"
111. I play lacrosse
112. I have the same best friend since kindergarten* (mollie, julie)
113. I absolutely love cute/weird socks
114. I know what I want to be when I grow up*
115. I write in cursive
116. I paint my nails
117. My best friend lives in another state***********************
118. I watch T.V. to fall asleep
119. I try to always do my hair in cute styles
120. Whenever I'm bored, I usually resort to dumb quizzes like this one*

well, wasn't that interesting? Well, I was sitting on the computer talking to Mike when the power went out, so he came over and we just chilled. When the power came back on he called Mike P and they left. So here I am listening to music, thinking. I'm in a real chick music kind of mood. Michelle Branch, Alanis Morrisette, Evanescence, Josie and the Pussycats lol. That automatically means that I'm thinking about one thing. Just guess

I'm debating on whether to ditch my family and go to Kat's pool party, or to go to the block party and see all of my relatives whom I haven't seen in a REALLY long time. I mean, I want to chill with everyone that I haven't seen since school ended, and I could hang out with Aaron, but I miss my family. I miss my sister, and my uncle and aunts. and my cousins, Erica, she's so awesome. And I could bring a friend to the block party if I wanted, for sure. It's a difficult decision. UUGHH WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DOOOOOOOO........any suggestions?

hey

2004-07-12T04:55:45Z

Well........ I'm just sitting here thinking about random things.

I'm going to recap about last night

well, I was chilling with Lindsay and Brandon. And, of course, Brandon goes on about how I need a boyfriend and shit like that. And how I should go out with Aaron. Who is he to say shiit like that? Why would a guy who is going to Tennesee for college want to be dating a sophmore in highschool all the way in DE. That's retarded. But, to tell you the truth, it'd be nice. Even Lindsay was like, I'll work my magic. Why!!??!! I mean, I'm sure he already knows I like him, Brandon says it enough when we're all together, and I guess it's a good thing that someone would talk to him about it. But what would that make me look like? A retard who just can't come out and say it? A loser who doesn't have the guts to come out on her own with her feelings?

You would think people would be able to say the way they're feeling towards certain people. And I can, when it comes to some things. I can tell Lindsay when she's getting annoying, and Brent when he's pissing me off about the whole hanging out thing, and blah blah blah. But when it comes to things that deal with your heart, you just loose your breath that you need so badly just to speak those simple words. That breath, you know that it's so freaking important, and I guess when you do have it, nothing matters. But when you don't, everything is wrong. Everything.... and that makes me so aggrivated.

OMG

2004-07-11T23:59:55Z

I found this quiz in Dana's lj, it's the funniest thing I have ever seen, and you'd only get it if you lived in Springfield. I was cracking up.... I wish I'd of gotten a better score though, 51, lol.....

I scored a 51% on the "How Springfield, PA Are You?" Quizie! What about you?</b>

Yoo

2004-07-11T19:00:31Z

hey. Well, alot has happened lately I guess. Thursday I ended up going to Amanda's house. We had fun just geekin and watching movies. It was cool. Went home on Friday and Lindsay, Sam, and Chelsea came over. We all wanted to go to the Ski Club, but didn't have a ride, so we called Brad .:ick:. He was talking shiit on Chelsea and when we got to Chelsea's house he wouldn't stop, so Chelsea called him a prick and hit him with her shoes lol. He kept on saying shiit and was leaving so I was just like "BRAD, SHUT UP YOU'RE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE" and he left. Fucking asshole, I've never liked him.

Well we talked to her neighbor dude, then got my mom to pick us up. Lindsay went to Mike's while Chelsea, Sam, and I ate, and walked to Sev. We saw some of Chelsea's old juggalo friends, Chunks and the dude with the contact lol. Chunks said he was having a party and gave us his number, then Lindsay and Mike walked up. We decided that we wanted to go to the party and Chunks had some of his friends pick us up, but Lindsay didn't want to go so she stayed with Mike and Brandon I guess, which I'm starting to feel bad for. We got to the party, it was pretty gay. May I say, that all the juggalette's there were fucking beat as anything. ICK. I had a beer, Chelsea and Sam shared this stuff with Chunks, and Sam smoked with the juggalo's. Then they kicked us out, and we got dropped off in the front of Waterford.

Called Alex, and he was smoking, so he picked us up. We all smoked with him, then were about to go to the Ski Club, but my mom texted Sam saying that I needed to be home or no Springfield, so I went home and Chelsea and Sam went with Alex which kinda pissed me off. I texted Lindsay telling her I was home, and Brandon and her came to hang out. Chelsea and Sam didn't come back till 2:30. We talked a little then went to sleep.

Saturday-

I woke up at 10 and got ready for Springfield, and Chelsea did too. Lindsay and Sam didn't end up waking up till 11:30, and we had to leave at 12. We got to Springfield around 1:10 or so. Chilled around with Pete and Sal at Pete's house. Called Griffen, and walked to Burger King then.......Gorges music I think it's called ?? I don't know. Walked back, and watched Dawn Of The Dead. It was a cool movie. Then we had to leave : ( .... I didn't want to leave. But we had to. Got back , and talked to the sewers LOL.... it was great. "If _______, then go to the window!" heh. Lindsay and I chilled at my house, watched the old version of Salems Lot. The newer one is ALOT better. Walked to Sev, then Brandon came over. Talked till 2:30am, then went to sleep.

It was fun, and Pete and I made plans for the girls to come with me and go to South Street on Saturday. It shall be a grand time. I can't wait!!

dpressedg0ldfsh @ 2004-07-08T14:13:00

2004-07-08T18:14:53Z

i think i'm always loosing grip.i think i'm always falling into love,into tears,into bad bad habits, asleep. falling. falling. falling.waiting for someone to catch me.its like trying to catch all the rain drops before they hit the ground.impossible

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

found that in some chicks diary..... I love it

yeah

2004-07-08T01:58:08Z

I don't have the effort to write new stuff, so I'll just copy from my xanga

I notice how when I'm alone, I always think of the bad things, and when I'm with people that I like, I think of the good things.

well, to say the least, I'm thinking about the bad things.

Found out that my uncle bud is in the hospital two days ago, which made my dad pretty upset. my aunt kathy told me he might have cancer. wow, I haven't gone through this since, when I was 10 I think. But I was closer to my grandmom then I am to my uncle bud though it still hurts to think about.

I need out of this state right now. I mean it, I'm just tired of it right now, everything bad just happens here. Nothing bad happened when I was in springfield. I never thought like this, I never felt the way that I do here. I never felt worthless, or like nothing. Like no one could really give a shit and no one cares, not that they hate me, but if I wasn't here, their lives wouldn't be any different. This whole entire liking him situation is just wearing me out and I can't stand it. It just makes it worse that I have no where to go if I went to springfield, everyone is always busy. but it seems like they are on purpose. I don't know, I'm taking everything to a bigger level then it really is, but I just can't stand the way I think right now. As I said in my earlier entry

*"I'm happy yet I'm sad. It's like I have everything yet I'm missing something. I just can't seem to put my finger on it. I can't seem to smile, most of the time I just want to cry. Everyday I try but I get nowhere. I'm on the verge of falling. I'm holding on the edge, I can't let go and for some reason I have no control." (some random email I found in my saved shiit)

That just means so much to me right now that I found a quote like that. It describes EXACTLY how I am all the time. EXACTLY. Ugh, I don't get it.

right now, I could deff. use a bottle of vodka and a box of cigs.

and that makes me feel like a bad person

ash

I feel like nothing, like I was ever actually something, in reality I've been nothing for as long as I could remember-me

"I wish I could stop crying, I wish someone still loved me."- one of the greatest lines from ATREYU

just a thing

2004-07-08T00:58:27Z

everyone who reads this please do this quiz

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. How have I affected you?

5. What do you think of me?

6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?

7. How long do you think we will be friends?

8. Do you love me?

9. Do you have a crush on me?

10. Would you kiss me?

11. Would you hug me?

12. Physically, what stands out?

13. Emotionally, what stands out?

14. Do you wish I was cooler?

15. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

16. Am I loveable?

17. How long have you known me?

18. Describe me in one word.

19. What was your first impression?

20. Do you still think that way about me now?

21. What do you think my weakness is?

22. Do you think I'll get married?

23. What makes me happy?

24. What makes me sad?

25. What reminds you of me?

26. If you could give me anything what would it be?

27. How well do you know me?

28. When's the last time you saw me?

29. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

31. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

heyy

2004-07-08T00:49:44Z

yeah, I made a livejournal, just so I could be in Kat's journal. LOL. I'm a retard. oh well...

<3 ash

If I smile and don't believe, soon I know I'll wake from this dream

friends only<3

"you porehead foker!"

Hmm

"did he return to you the oral pleasure? *not orally* He wrote down on a piece of paper 'pleasure' "

have I ever told you how cushiony your boobs are?

yeah

well

well then

Like a period!

well then...

Yep Yep

hey

Well then....

yo

quiz

Car

just another quiz

hey

OMG

Yoo

dpressedg0ldfsh @ 2004-07-08T14:13:00

yeah

just a thing

heyy

"did he return to you the oral pleasure? not orally He wrote down on a piece of paper 'pleasure' "